"Sigh" moment (Bad) / "Sigh" moment (Good) / blues

Bittersweet

(it’s not a journal entry.  it’s more like my interpretation of and response to something i heard someone say)

 

they say you don’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been

but you must recognize where you are

and right now this is where I am

I know so much of “this” is fleeting

but that doesn’t make it mean any less

being fleeting might make it mean more

like moments

we try to make the most of them

because as soon as they come, they are gone

re-categorized as memories

“there I was” as opposed to “here I am”

to try to capitalize, we drag it out

we try to drip every portion that we can from it

in hopes that it will burn deeper into our psyche

but it’s still bittersweet

and then there is fleeting like love

an emotion, a feeling, a biological response leading to deep attraction

the only thing really fleeting about love is what we think of it

and what we think of it is often defined by where we are going, where we have been

and what we think about where we are

but love has this feeling of fleeting

right?

it’s supposed to be everlasting

it’s supposed to be the antithesis of judgmental

it’s supposed to exist outside the bounds of time

it is supposed to envelope us in warmth and safety and joy and peace

but when it’s infatuation, we don’t care about forever

we want right now to be forever instead of what we really know forever to be

and when it’s lust, we don’t care about shame

we want to dive into it shamelessly

and when it’s hate, we don’t care about joy

because love as hate is really hurt

and hurt allows us to still feel

in some backward, insane way

like we are still in love

BUT when love is love, when we move out of the way

and allow it to be what it’s meant to be

love may have to be a memory

love may have to mean a sacrifice

love may have to mean seeing someone for who they really are

love may have to mean seeing yourself for who you are meant to be

when love is love, it is not fleeting

more than anything

it’s bittersweet

 

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