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moving on

Moving on. First draft 15 Mar 2010…27 Sept 2010

my eyes sting from the dryness left behind by burning tears.
my blurry vision is only assisted by some semblance of light shining from the other side.
from the other side of time where my heart remained unbroken and my mind remained untainted and my ego remain unbruised.
battered, i commit myself to an exit only to be stopped, halted by what I leave behind…
I don’t leave behind love or hope or some sincere feeling of trust.
I leave behind the part of me that has to stay so that I don’t make these same mistakes over and over again.
because that kind of over and over again doesn’t work.
And over and over again has suffocated me enough.
Over and over again I loved you, and over and over again you left my love behind.
And now I want to over and again remember that I deserve better and I desire more.
And, if nothing else, over and again will mean that I can breathe rather than scratch and claw for a single whiff of the scent of air.
It will mean that my lungs can expand and take in the sweetness of something true and real.
It will mean that my eyes can take in the sun and no longer yearn for any piercing evidence of light.
I can feel warmth and no longer be a stranger to it.

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