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the knot

There is this song that I love.  It’s been a piece of truth in my life.  I’ve had epiphanies (real and false) as it has played in the background.  I’ve cried at the realization that I have been a “Mr. Nothing”.

I have struggled to face my life at times.  I sometimes feel as if I couldn’t keep up with all of the things happening within me, then, as soon as I “knew” who I was, I would experience the sense of being someone different.

I kept trying to be and fit and work within these constraints of who I thought I was supposed to be, which was ever changing.  Without noticing the life that I was living and how that life was molding me and shaping me, I never could quite grasp who I was.  I struggled internally for so long and couldn’t figure out why.  For years, I listened to this song and I could not figure out why my heart ached as the words hovered around me.  It took so long before I realized that I had been my own captive.  I had struggled and fought my way into greater constriction.  Somewhere somethings changed.  Gradually.  Continually.  Sometimes, I listen to keep perspective.

Push & Pull

Writer(s): Justin Stanley, Nikka Costa
Copyright: Soundhustler Music

Mr. Nothing’s got a lot
He’s got a lot to say
He’s good at being what he’s not
Gives nothing away
Another day goes on by
And he never speaks his heart
He takes his chance with what he’s got
It’s too late now to stop

You push and you pull and struggle with the knot
It’s tying you up while you’re fadin’
You give and you take and take what you got
Round and round ’till it breaks and
You push and you pull and struggle with the knot
It’s tying you up while you’re fadin’ into your lie

Mr. Nothing is late
He’s running out of time
He questions whether chance or fate will ever show a sign
Looks to the sky above
For a glimpse of what it means
And never never never make
Make no sense to him

You push and you pull and struggle with the knot
It’s tying you up while you’re fadin’
You give and you take and take what you got
Round and round ’till it breaks and
You push and you pull and struggle with the knot
It’s tying you up while you’re fadin’ into your lie

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